Life Coach New York City- Julie Holmes Life Coaching

View Original

Are you standing in the way of your own happiness? 9 signs you may be preventing yourself from being happy

1. I will be happy when…

Many of us do this. We think of a certain event that we want to happen in the future, and we associate our happiness with it. It might be a promotion, an engagement, the birth of your first child, but whatever it is, it’s certainly not preventing you from enjoying life now. You can have goals and aspirations and still be happy in the process. Remember that.

2. You judge yourself or fear others may be judging you

How would you react if you tripped and fell in front of hundreds of people? Would you be embarrassed, ashamed, feel others are secretly laughing at you, or do you get mad at yourself and think “how could I be so clumsy?” Maybe you just laugh, pick yourself up, and keep walking. How you react in this scenario is probably a good indication for how you may react when you trip and fall in any area of life. The thing is, everybody trips and falls. That’s just part of life. So instead of wasting your time and energy focusing on the fall, why not focus on the best way to get up, move forward, and prevent the fall from happening again?

3. You aren’t living in the moment

If you want to be sad, live in the past.
If you want to be anxious, live in the future.
If you want to be peaceful, live in the now.

4. You aren’t making progress

Accomplishments will only allow you to be happy for brief period of time. So how do we continuously feel good about ourselves? The answer is growth and progress. You need to be growing emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and physically (health and fitness), in order to feel like you are making progress in your life. It’s fine to focus on one of these areas at a time, and eventually there should be a balance of growth in all areas. Live to your full potential. Anything less will surely result in a disappointing life.

5. You are always trying to please others instead of yourself

People pleasing is a really great way to not take accountability for your actions and choices. Whose life is it anyway? Whether you are trying to live up to your parent’s expectations, compromising your values or beliefs systems for your significant other, or simply living in a certain persona because you think people expect it of you, you will never find true happiness. Don’t compromise your deepest wants or needs in this life for anyone. Doing so will only cause resentment and regret.

6. You aren’t taking risks

How will you know what you’re capable of unless you try? No one wants to feel out of his or her comfort zone and face the idea of failure, but nothing great was ever achieved in life without risk. Don’t fight failure, embrace it. Use it as a learning tool for what works and what doesn’t work to try something different the next time around.

7. You aren’t taking care of yourself physically

Some people don’t realize how much their diet and exercise regime affect their mental and emotional state. Proper nutrition and exercise can literally be the determining factor that will get you up, motivated, and feeling good.

8. You aren’t giving back

Doing good deeds for others increases the dopamine levels in your brain. It’s so easy to get caught up in what’s not going right in your life, but a simple act of kindness will help you feel better, and help someone else feel better in the process. What can you do right now to help a friend, family member, or stranger?

9. You aren’t having fun

Life is meant to be fun. What do you love, what makes you smile, what activities do you enjoy but don’t find time for? With so much media being thrown in our faces all the time it’s hard not to compare our life to others who seem to be doing big things. You should have hefty goals, but remember to enjoy the process. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Be a kid again, and relearn how to love life.