Throughout our lives, we enter into many different types of relationships. The relationships you have with your friends, family, colleagues, and romantic partners can have a huge impact on your life. Learning to spot red flags in a relationship isn't always easy, and if you're in a romantic relationship, your feelings can cloud logic.

Learning to Spot Red Flags

Here are eight red flags to watch out for.

1. Lack of Motivation

Our passions drive us in life. They get us up in the morning and excited about life. Even if you don't currently have your dream job, your passion may help you work and be productive throughout the day. When someone doesn't have that motivation or passion, they can fall into a pattern of laziness. Now, they might not care about being promoted, don't want to improve themselves, or might not have an interest in progressing. This lack of motivation will creep into every area of their life including their relationship with you. When a person has no drive to grow, they will have no motivation to improve their relationship, and old problems will not get solved. This lack of motivation can be contagious. Don't let someone's lack of motivation bring you down or prevent you from moving forward in your life. It can be hard to know when you can help someone or when they'll just bring you down. So when it comes to this one, you'll have to be very mindful while learning to spot this red flag.

2. Obsessiveness

Obsessiveness can be a red flag especially if you are that person's obsession. We all know new relationships are exciting and it's fun to spend time with people that you love, but when a person has no independent passions and they're only interested in spending time with you, you should probably back away slowly. Every person has to have their own life. You have to live yours without having to spend day and night with someone obsessed with you. If you see the signs of obsessiveness, you are probably seeing the psychological signs of something that we call anxious attachment and you may be spotting some red flags.

3. Possessiveness

Your relationship may be special but it's not the only relationship that you should ever have. As a partner, child, parent, or friend you have to retain a sense of independence. This independence includes the freedom to have other relationships. If a person wants to limit the time you spend alone, with your friends or other people, you probably have a right to be upset. This type of possessiveness is common amongst domestic abusers and people who score high on the dark triad personality traits. Victims may feel isolated or cut off from their friends and family and this isolation can end up being very dangerous. Eventually, this isolation could make the victim feel like they have nowhere to turn in life. Don't let a partner limit where you can go or who you hang out with. Especially if they don't have good reasons to justify why.

4. History of poor unresolved relationships

Everyone has good and bad relationships in their lives. As you start to reflect on these relationships you should be able to calmly explain why a relationship went sour. If someone in your life has a history of rotten and unresolved relationships, like crazy exes or terrible friends that might not be the problem. Even if you think your relationship withthem is special, there is no saying that history will not repeat itself. You could end up being that crazy ex or terrible friend down the line. Maybe they were the problem, not their exes. When someone can't calmly explain why their past relationships didn't work out or constantly badmouth people in their lives, you might want to find the closest exit as they might be doing the same to you pretty soon, and you might be spotting a red flag.

5. Unpredictability

Unpredictable mood swings especially anger aren't just frustrating they're pretty scary. When you don't know what could set a person off, they can switch at any time. Now, there are certain hormonal imbalances or mood disorders that can explain sudden mood swings, While this can explain outbursts, they might not always justify the things that were said or done during these outbursts. If someone is not actively seeking help for these types of outbursts or if they don't believe that they're negative, you are not in a safe situation.

6. Blame

If someone constantly blames you for things that aren't your fault, you're probably realizing this is a red flag. It's really easy to point fingers and tell someone "It's your fault you caused this!" but this behavior rarely reflects the reality of every situation. People may blame someone else to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, even if it's no one's fault. They may just want to give themself a reason to be upset. You could be the victim of gaslighting. Misunderstandings happen if a person blames you for something that isn't your fault and then apologizes you should be able to forgive them. It happens from time to time, but if someone repeatedly gets angry at you for things that are outside of your control, you may be putting yourself in a situation where you are demonized for no reason at all.

7. Being secretive about their past

Most people have a history with some events they'd like to forget about. In a relationship, these past indiscretions should be important to know especially as you get close to someone. You should be able to discuss past indiscretions, failures, or lessons from your mistakes. If someone refuses to talk to you about their past relationships or specific parts of their life, you have a right to feel suspicious. If your partner gets angry at you for wanting to know about their past you have a right to feel suspicious, and you may become aware you're spotting a red flag.

8. Your gut tells you something is off

Don't be afraid to go with your gut when you feel that something isn't right. Psychologically what you call your gut instinct is also referred to as intuition, and it's created by complex unconscious thought processes that may be warning you about something you physically can't see. Whether you find yourself constantly forgiving someone for various indiscretions or you're hearing from friends and family that your partner is not good for you, your gut feeling is probably right. If you feel something is off about a potential partner ask your friends about what they think. If a friend, family member, or colleague is in a relationship with someone who doesn't seem right, don't be afraid to take them aside and tell them how you feel about that person. If enough people take the same action you could potentially save a person from a dangerous relationship.

Now that you are learning to spot red flags, I hope you can prevent yourself from starting continuing a dangerous or abusive relationship.